Mum: I read this thing that says you should put the kitchen sponge in the dishwasher every night because the heat will kill all the germs
Pops: That seems like overkill to me...

Aerienne: how do you feel about clogs?
Natty: sensible and sturdy
Natty: i would wear these ones
Aerienne: you would, wooden shoe?

Join said "I got fired from cutco when i fell asleep during the training"...and natty says "Oh so i guess you didn't make the cut!

I asked my dad about his present progress. 'your presents done?' 'yep, wrapped.' film pun!

'So you look in people's mouths but keep an eye to the stars.' 'that's actually what it says on my plaque.' nice, dentist!

playing Backgammon. 'i shouldn't move there.' 'yeah, that's pointless!'

There will be so many nuts. Anyone with allergies is not (NUT) welcome. FORCED HOMOPHONE GROANER WATCH!!!!

'sweeping generalizations...' WELLER, while holding a broom.

'He might fly here, but that's pretty up in the air.' Annissa about John visiting.

'Anybody want a twist?' Guzy, introducing a new element to wheel truing.

Hanna touched a warm candle. 'that's delightful!'

How do you stop stuttering? Aparently, parental intervention works best.